Are you looking for funny pick up lines? Crushing on someone but can’t break the ice? Or do you want to surprise your long-term partner with something new?
Whichever it might be… you’re at the best possible location. Why? Because this think-piece covers all the A to Z of funny pick up lines.
And there’s a bonus at the end… we’ll help you pick the finest pick up lines… along with the perfect timings to spill them.
Gotta admit, whoever you’re wooing, is one heck of a lucky person.
Alright, enough build up! Let’s get right to it…
Funny pick up lines for him (funny pick up lines for guys)
Did you find your perfect one? I’m sure you can’t wait to date her… but, how will you catch her eye? Probably, there are more men trying the same.
Well, let’s do something out of the ordinary. Use these pickup lines for guys to catch her off-guard…
- Well, I am already yours, what are the other two things you wish for?
- Hello, I wanna be a pilot. Can I crash at your place tonight?
- Are you from France? Because Eiffel for you.
- Oh! Do you like cashews? What do you feel about a date?
- My cell phone seems to have stopped working properly since it doesn’t have your number in it.
- If I rearrange the alphabets, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
- Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for survival?
- I feel like a snowflake to have fallen for you.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
- How good would it be if I were cross-eyed! I could at least see you twice.
- You must be kept in a museum, because you are a piece of art.
- Do you believe in love at first sight- or should I come to you again?
- Without being a photographer, I can picture us together.
- Did your license get suspended for driving me crazy?
- Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
- I am preparing for my history exam. Will you like to be a part of my important date?
- It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
- You blinded me by your beauty. Tell me your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
- If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!
Think only men hit on women? You’re so wrong… women are equally active in every zone now. So, why can’t they hit on men? So,this one goes out to the ladies…
Funny pick up lines for her (funny pick up lines for girls)
Found your Mr. Right? Glad to know that… but don’t know how to grab their attention? It happens… every woman out there got cold feet on their first try. Perhaps, we can humor them a bit? Come on, break the ice with one of these…
- You seem to be a bank loan because you are charging up my interest rate.
- Do you believe in time traveling? Cause I see you in my future.
- Do you have an extra heart? Somebody just stole mine.
- Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
- Something’s wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.
- God might be worried because he is missing an angel.
- Don’t you feel tired? Cause you have been running through my mind the entire night.
- Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda is the only one for me!
- Can you help me with a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
- Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright to me.
- You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
- We’re not socks, but wouldn’t we make a great pair?
- I feel my love got diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
- Please lend me a bandaid cause I bruised my knee falling for you.
- Did I board onto the Hogwarts Express? It feels like you and I are moving towards something magical.
- Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
- Do you live in an oven? Because you’re hot.
- If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
- Feel my shirt and guess what it is made of? Boyfriend material.
- I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.
Ummm… are you crushing on a friend? Ahh.. brings back good memories. It feels great to secretly crush on them… but when it’s about the next step, It’s better to go with…
Funny pick up lines for friends
When you crush on a friend there are a few possibilities.
You might bury your feelings in your heart… you might confess and experience the best relationship… or, confess to get rejected and feel awkward.
So, before confessing, test the waters with these…
- Life without you is like a broken pencil… pointless.
- Are you Wifi? Cause I just got connected with you.
- Can I call you Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
- Are you a phaser on Star Trek? Because you’re set to stun!
- Are your parents artists? Because you are a masterpiece.
- On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
- Are you a dictionary? Cause you’re adding meaning to my life.
- Hey! Are you garbage? I’ll take you out!
- OMG. I was going to wear this exact same outfit tonight.
- I would never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.
- I started reading/watching an interesting book/show last week, and I’d love to discuss it with someone. Have you heard of it?
- I wish I’d paid more attention to science in high school, because you and I’ve got chemistry and I want to know all about it.
- I’m not sure what it is yet, but something about you seems really interesting.
- Are those space pants, because they’re really cute! Where did you get them? We should go shopping together sometime.
- Hold up, girl. Are you a college professor? ‘Cause I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna occasionally talk to my other friends about how annoying you are.
- If I was a superhero, I’d be BlanketMan, ’cause I got you covered.
- You must be the square root of 2 because I feel irrational around you.
- You breathe oxygen, too? OMG, we have so much in common.
- Is your name Waldo? Because someone like you is hard to find.
- Hey, what’s your sign? Wow, I’m a Gemini! According to the stars, we’re supposed to have a mutually supportive and non-competitive positive relationship!
Wanna really really impress that special person? Of course, you wanna stand out in their life, and hold on to them forever.
So, definitely look out for these…
Good funny pick up lines
Whether you want to send their heart on a rollercoaster ride… or want to make sure they choose you over anyone else out there… choose the good ones to stay in the neutral zone and still make their heart race.
Guess you can’t wait any longer, let’s check them…
- I’m not stalking you, I’m doing research!
- Someone should call the police because you just stole my heart!
- You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
- Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.
- Are you the sun? I’m about to get a sunburn looking at you.
- You dropped something. My jaw.
- Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became so beautiful.
- Sweetness is my weakness.
- Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking for you for years!
- Should I walk by again or did you already realize I’m your soulmate?
- How much longer until I get to the part where you give me your number?
- You’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, and believe me — I’ve been looking a long time.
- My love for you is like dividing by zero — it cannot be defined.
- You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
- Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
- Hi, I just wanted to thank you for the gift. (pause) I’ve been wearing this smile ever since you gave it to me.
- I just had to tell you, your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.
- I don’t know your name, but I’m sure it’s as beautiful as you are. I’m (your name).
- The sparkle in your eyes is so bright, the sun must be jealous.
- You are astoundingly gorgeous, but I can tell that’s the least interesting thing about you. I’d love to know more.
Is your partner comfy with racy lewd jokes? Hmm… that expands your horizon. To catch their heart off-guard, you need to be equally impressive. So, use some of these…
Dirty funny pick up lines
Reminder: Don’t use this section if you don’t know the other person well or if they’re uncomfortable with dirty talking.
Why? You will only lose all of your luck and chance.
But if they can play fairly well with dirty jokes, this is just what they wanna hear…
- I was feeling a little off today—but you’ve turned me on again!
- Do you work at Dick’s? Because you’re sporting the goods!
- Kiss me if I’m wrong. But dinosaurs still exist, right?
- Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
- Your lips look lonely. Do they need friends? I have another pair.
- Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.
- What is the recipe for your lips? I’d like a bite
- How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
- Dinner first, or can we go straight for dessert?
- Favorite meal: Thai, Italian or French?
- I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
- Let us let only latex stand between our love.
- I’ll give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, you can return it.
- If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
- My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
- Your lips look so lonely… Would they like to meet mine?
- I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?
- Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
- Have you got the time… I’ve got the time if you’ve got the place,
- They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?
Dirty ones don’t always get the best reactions out there. Sometimes, people want you to slide in their heart even before they notice it. Want to slide in their life like butter? This is what you need…
Smooth funny pick up lines
Though you wanna be funny, is that applicable everywhere? For instance, can you crack dirty or outright crazy pickup lines with your coworkers? It can work even on strangers… instead of thinking you’re creepy, they might suggest exchanging contacts.
So, let’s know another way to catch hearts…
- Your middle name must be Gillette. Because you’re the best a man can get!
- I seem to have lost my phone digits. Will you give me yours?
- Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!
- Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?
- Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth has clearly never stood next to you!
- Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you!
- Are you gravity, because I’m falling for you!
- I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
- Let’s commit the perfect crime; I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.
- Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
- If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
- Are you the square root of -1? Because you seriously can’t be real!
- Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue? Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
- You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
- Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
- Are you at a 90-degree angle? Cause you are looking right!
- Wow, when God made you he was showing off.
- When a penguin finds a mate they stay with them for the rest of their life. Will you be my penguin?
- Excuse me, is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!
- Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
Wanna be dramatic while breaking the ice? Well, if that’s your crush’s palate, then why not? Sometimes, you might find the sweetest smiles from the….
Funny cheesy pick up lines
What do you think about the cliche, all-too-known thoughts? They’re clear, direct… they always hint at where everything is going. Of course, there’s also the clear indication you’re flirting. Let’s check them out…
- Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
- Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
- Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?
- If I were a cat I’d speed all 9 lives with you.
- What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?
- If you could be any comic book character, who would you be?
- Forget hydrogen. You should be the number one element!
- Was your father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
- Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write about our future.
- You must be a broom, ‘cause you just swept me off my feet.
- Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte?
- If you were a steak you would be well done.
- Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
- I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I think you’re the gratest.
- My doctor says I’m lacking vitamin U.
- Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!
- Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?
- What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella cheese? A cheesy pick-up line.
- Drake would call you and me God’s Plan.
- I’m so lost. I was looking for your number.
But if your partner is on the cutesy side, cheesy ones might not hit the mark. Don’t feel confused, I’m here to make things better for you with some much needed…
Cute funny pick up lines
Is the object of affection into teddy bears? Do they like small things? Or do they secretly love cutesy stuff and you’re the only one aware? Whichever it is, a cute and funny pick up line is all you need to sway their heart. So, hop in…
- Are you at a 45-degree angle? Because you’re a-cutie!
- Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and I don’t mind being lost at sea.
- Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.
- Are you a camera? Because I look at you and smile!
- I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!
- I’d say God bless you, but it looks like he already has!
- You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!
- You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.
- Are you the sun? Because you’re definitely making my day.
- Do you know what the Little Mermaid and I have in common? We both want to be part of your world.
- I’m good at algebra; I can replace your X and you wouldn’t need to figure out Y.
- Are your parents bakers? Because you’re a cutie pie!
- If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would be holding a galaxy.
- Your dad must have been a thief because he stole all the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
- Guess what I’ve got? The racing heart you gave me.
- There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
- Damn, you have a dog! Does that mean I’ll never win the “best ever cuddler” title?
- If you were a triangle you’d be acute one.
- Is it hot in here or is it just you?
How much do you dare? If you dare to use pickup lines, can you show a bit more courage and add a sexual hint to it? If you’re up for this, check some…
Funny sexual pick up lines
If you want to flirt sexy, gotta add it in the lingo. No man/woman ever got the hint without a word. If you desire the other person, this is the best way to express some naughtiness.
If they disagree, that’s fine… but if they don’t, jackpot! Let’s take a sneak-peek here…
- Kissing burns 6 calories a minute. Wanna workout together?
- Black Friday sale, at my house. You and me, all clothes will be 100% off.
- Do you like sales? Because if you’re looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.
- I hope you have pet insurance, because I’m about to destroy your pussy cat.
- I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
- If we were playing poker, I would go all in.
- Are you from Japan ‘cause I’m trying to get in Japanties.
- Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket expires tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?
- Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?
- I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
- I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
- Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.
- Are you undressing me with your eyes?!
- With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.
- I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.
- Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
- What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
- I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex.
- We were both born without clothes.
- Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.
Not happy with just standing out of the crowd? Wanna make a bigger impact? I know where you’re coming from. The competition is too tough, so let’s learn some…
Best funny pick up lines
The person that got your heart has too many suitors? Have a hard time catching them? Think it’s hard to grab their heart? Well, not anymore, not on the watch of the best ones here…
- If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.
- I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
- Are you a magician? Because when I’m looking at you, you make everyone else disappear!
- Was your father a God? Because you can’t belong to Earth.
- If being sexy was a joke, you’d be the best joker.
- Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams.
- How much does a polar bear weigh? I don’t know either but it breaks the ice. Wanna get a drink?
- You owe me a drink. Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!
- Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other.
- I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
- Where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word “gorgeous”!
- Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
- Your eyes are like IKEA. I’m totally lost in them.
- Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb!
- On a scale of 1 to 10; You’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need.
- I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
- Do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I play video games all day.
- I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
- You know what you would really look beautiful in? My arms.
- Are we, like, married now?
And then there are times when the object of your affection loves the old overused pickup lines. After all, old is gold… and if you think the same, follow me to…
Funny corny pick up lines
The more old-fashioned pickup lines might not be smooth, might not stun them… but one thing is for sure, it will always convey your intentions clearly.
At least, they’ll know you were hitting on them and not being friendly! It’s always a win-win situation with these…
- They say nothing lasts forever—so would you be my nothing?
- I’m sorry, were you talking to me? No? Would you like to?
- Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re mm mm good!
- I was wondering if you’re an artist because you can paint my future pretty.
- My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person here. How should we spend their money?
- You must be made of cheese. Because you’re looking Gouda tonight!
- Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day.
- Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you.
- I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.
- Can I tie your shoe? Because I can’t have you fall for anyone else.
- My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to get a hold of me in the morning.
- You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
- I usually go for 8’s but I guess I’ll settle for a 10.
- My mom said she found a beautiful and intelligent girl / guy for me. Is that you?
- Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that.
- You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
- I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
- Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.
- If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
- Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are… gorgeous!
If you don’t wanna be too direct, that’s alright! Taking it slow now might reward you for the rest of your life. Play dumb and barge in their heart with these…
Dumb funny pick up lines
Some people are too conscious about everything. If you attack them head on, you’ll crash into a wall. Can’t blame them, they possibly experienced something bad.
Hurry up and use these to open their hearts to you…
- Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
- Let’s flip a coin. Head’s you’re mine, tails I’m yours.
- Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
- So I’ve been trying to come up with a good psychology pickup line for you, but I’m a Freud I couldn’t come up with any.
- I’m sorry, were you listening to me ramble? No? Wanna listen to my heart?
- Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
- If I followed you home, would you keep me?
- If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
- I think the only way you could possibly be more beautiful is if I got to know you.
- When I text you goodnight later, what phone number should I use?
- I was going to say something really sweet about you, but when I saw you, I became speechless.
- You see my friend over there? S/he wants to know if you think I’m cute.
- I was going to call you beautiful, but then I realized I don’t have your number yet.
- Hi, my name is (your name), but you can call me tonight or tomorrow.
- You know, I’m actually terrible at flirting. How about you try to pick me up instead?
- Hello* pretends to be a waiter* – Here’s your icebreaker garnished with awkwardness.
- What’s your definition of a good weekend?
- This is how I’d describe you in three emojis Now you describe yourself in three emojis.
- If you were a booger, I’d pick you.
Wanna flirt with someone? Feeling shy? If you don’t wanna go all out, still give it enough effort, add some small flirty hints to your pickup lines like these…
Flirty funny pick up lines
Who doesn’t wanna flirt? Whether it’s with their steady partner or a crush, flirting is fun and healthy. And of course, it’s mild, sweet, and not too direct.
These can also help you spice up a long-term commitment too. Hurry up and flirt away..
- You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey’s out of business!
- I’ve got 1-ply, I’ve got 2-ply, but all I really want is your re-ply.
- Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
- Do I know you? Because you look like my dream partner.
- Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
- Are you craving Pizza? Because I’d love to get a pizz-a you
- Do you have a tan, or do you always look this hot?
- Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together.
- Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
- My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.
- Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark you shine.
- Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
- I’ll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast.
- Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
- Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
- Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
- Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.
- If you were a flower, you’d be a damnnn-delion.
- If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
Are you more onto the clean side? Want to stay true to yourself? If you’re a perfectionist to begin with, that’s half the work done. So, here is a humor bone for you to examine…
Funny clean pick up lines
Were you born a perfectionist? Or are you learning to be a perfectionist? Ahhh… let me guess, your crush is a perfectionist? Gotcha! Well, these can help you sneak your way into their heart easily…
- I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
- If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
- If beauty were time, you’d be eternity
- Do you have a personality as intriguing as your eyes?
- I’d say you’re as beautiful as a Greek goddess, but what I can remember from history class, they were all pretty crazy
- Are you my lifeline? Because without you, I’d die.
- Did you swallow magnets? Cause you’re attractive.
- Good thing I just bought term life insurance… because I saw you and my heart stopped!
- If you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple.
- You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart.
- Are you a cat because I’m feline a connection between us
- If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in a higher tax bracket.
- Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.
- I’m going for a walk. Mind holding my hand? I’m getting old you see
- Aside from being so gorgeous and intelligent, what are your other attributes?
- If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.
- Can I give you a hug to show you how soft my sweater is?
- If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
- I’d rate you a nine… but you’ll be fine if you have me.
- Is summer over? Because I’m about to ‘fall’ for you!
Think your crush likes your goofiness? Wanna take them home tonight with your goofiness alone? That’s possible too from here…
Stupid funny pick up lines
Does your crush call you stupid time to time? Do they call you so endearingly? Sounds like you’re quite close to them. Well, you can use your stupidity to your own advantage like here…
- I was going to use a cheesy pick up line, but you’re too good for that.
- You’re sweeter than 3.14. Tell me I just won the cheesy pickup line competition?
- Tell me, what can I say to impress you?
- Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be Pretty Cute.
- If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.
- Do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydro power? Because dammmm.
- Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number.
- Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaaam!
- Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.
- Is that a dreidel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
- I don’t know which is prettier today—the weather, or your eyes.
- I swear someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
- You must be a hell of a thief, because you managed to steal my heart from across the room.
- Hey, do you mind if we take a picture together? I just want to show my mom what my next girlfriend looks like.
- You look like you know how to have a good time. Been on any adventures lately?
- Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
- Not much of a bio, you mind if I lightening round you a couple questions
- So, are you the kind I’d find climbing mountains and acing the diamond slopes, or chilling on the beach with a glass of wine?
- My mom told me not to talk to strangers online, but I’ll make an exception for you.
- Truth or dare?
Do you wanna be the King or Queen of funny pick up lines? Or, do you wanna make them your King or Queen? Follow this trail…
Great Funny pick up lines
Whether it’s your day 1 of using a funny pick up line, or day 100, the great ones never go out of trend. They’ll stay there, tickle your lover’s heart, and make it go lub-dub!
Don’t believe me? Try them…
- Hello. Cupid called. He wants to tell you that he needs my heart back.
- I was wondering if you’re an artist because you were so good at drawing me in.
- You must be the speed of light… because time stops when I look at you.
- I thought Happiness starts with H. But why does mine start with U.
- Are you a keyboard? Because you are my type.
- Can you do me a favor? I need you to take down my number.
- Do you remember me? I’m the man of your dreams.
- If I had to choose between winning the lottery or you…Obviously, I’d choose the money, but it’d be close. And I’d probably use a bunch of my money to woo you.
- People call me John, but you can call me tonight.
- Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
- Do you have a New Year’s resolution? Because I’m looking at mine right now.
- I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.
- That shirt looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.
- I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
- What time do you get off? Can I watch?
- If it was Halloween I’d dress up as your prince/princess charming.
- Do you have a landline? I want to lock this down old school.
- Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my day/night!
- If you were a song, you’d be the best track on the album.
- You know, they say that love is when you don’t want to sleep because reality is better than your dreams. And after seeing you, I don’t think I ever want to sleep again.
Love their pearly whites? After all, the person you love looks the loveliest when they’re happy. And who doesn’t love a good laugh? Let’s check these…
Hilarious pick up lines
Want to tickle them but can’t? Are you quarantining? Or, are you geographically distant? No worries, because some hilarious one-liners can make your partner giggle even without a tickle.
But first, have a good laugh yourself…
- Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
- I need to complain to Spotify, because you must be this weeks hottest single.
- Your name must be Coca-Cola, because you’re soda-licious.
- Thank God I’m wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle.
- What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
- Does your name start with “C” because I can C us together.
- Do you want to build a snowman? It might be hard since you’ll probably melt his heart, too.
- If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to life by my side.
- That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?
- Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.
- OK, don’t move from this spot. I’m gonna go hang mistletoe above your head real quick.
- Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like the mother/father of my child.
- I’m sorry to bother you, but if you’re here, who’s running heaven?
- It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
- Want to go outside and get some fresh air with me? You just took my breath away.
- In my opinion, there are three kinds of beautiful: Cute, pretty, and sexy. Somehow, you manage to be all three.
- You know, I had a pickup line ready to go, but your hotness burned my memory.
- Excuse me, do you have the time? I just want to remember the exact minute I got a crush on you.
- You know what’s the worst thing that can happen to you right now? Me not dating you.
Being a man approaching another man? Feel uncomfortable? Think nobody cared to make good pickup lines for you? You’re wrong… because we sure did remember you here…
Gay pick up lines funny
Whether you’re gay or straight… if you’re up for some pickup lines revolved around this idea, we have plenty over here. Your opening line will be bomb if you use these…
- My mom thinks I’m gay, can you help me prove her right?
- If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
- I’ll give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead.
- If you were a taser, you’d be set to ‘stun.’
- You know, I believe that honesty is the best policy, so to be perfectly honest, you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.
- Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc.
- Are you balding, because you sure do SHINE.
- Can I ride your joystick?
- (Lick finger and wipe on his shirt)… Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.
- Hey, I’m bisexual. Can I buy you a drink, then get sexual?
- I hope you don’t have tetnus cause tonight you are gonna nail me.
- I just saw George Michael in the men’s room. He was asking about you.
- I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
- I’ve never seen such a huge bulge in a man’s pants… wait a minute, yes I have – mine!
- If you and I were the last man on earth, we could do it in public.
- Is that a double-ended vibrator in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
- Is your name Oliver? Cause in a minute you’re gonna be Oliver this dick.
- It ain’t matter to me if you a gay bi or normal.
- Real men eat me.
- Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
If we welcome men-loving men, then surely we’ll welcome women-loving women too. You empower one another endlessly… you make us proud, so this one goes out for you…
Funny lesbian pick up lines
Women – the oppressed, the poor ones – yeah…. it was never so. They were always strong, still are, and are no less than anyone on this earth. Think a woman will back off from wooing her favorite woman? Let’s prove the world wrong with these…
- I’m surprised the restaurant/bar/etc. hasn’t asked you to leave yet. You’re so beautiful you’re making all the other girls look bad.
- It’s never easy meeting a complete stranger—especially one as beautiful as you—without being properly introduced. But can we try anyway?
- Can I take you with me and work you from home?
- I like my virus like I like my women; easy to spread.
- Bitch, you so fine, I’ll tap that.
- Do you like the Teletubbies? Because you look like Tinkie Winkie.
- Are you a burger, because you can be the meat between my buns!
- Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?
- I don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.
- I hope you’re not a vegetarian, ‘cause I want to feed you some meat!
- I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
- I’ve got an oral exam later, can I practice with you?
- It’s a good thing same-sex marriage is legal here, because I’m already planning our wedding.
- Nice ass… what time does it open?
- So how do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
- When I’m around you I can’t think straight.
- Les-bi-honest… you were checking me out, weren’t you?
- You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.
- You would be perfect for this movie I’m shooting it’s called “Dirty Sanchez”
- Hey Bud. Wanna play tummy sticks?
Are you into classic pickup lines? Well, they aren’t particularly classic… but they sure are a spin off of one. Let’s check out the…
Knock Knock funny pick up lines
Be it adult jokes, sarcasm, be it stand up comedy, or anything… knock knock jokes were always a classic everywhere. Our parents used them, as much as we do. So how can there be no funny pickup lines? Let’s have a look…
- Knock-knock. (Who’s there?) When where? (When where who?) Tomorrow night, my house, you.
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Al! Al who? Al give you a kiss if you open this door!
- Knock knock Who’s there? Bangkok! Bangkok who? Are you from Thailand, cause tonight you are going to BangKok.
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Anime! Anime who? Are you from Japan? Cause you got an anime-zing body.
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Candice! Candice who? Candice be love I’m feeling right now?
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Dubai! Dubai who? I know you’re Muslim, but would you allow me Dubai you a drink?
- Knock Knock Who’s there? I love you! I love you, who? Don’t ask who, because it’s you.
- Knock Knock Who’s there? India! India who? What’s it gonna take to get India pants.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Aladdin! Aladdin who? A lad din the street wants a word with you!
- Knock knock Who’s there? Love! Love who? Love this dick.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Will. Will who? Will you be my Valentine?
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Father/Mother. Father/Mother who? Your child’s father/mother.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Beautiful! Beautiful who? You!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Butch, Jimmy and Joe. Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to use a condom?
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Ike. Ike who? Ike can rock your world, baby.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to do something naughty with you.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little love right now.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Tex. Tex who? Tex two to tango.
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan who? You’re the Obi-Wan for me!
Are you bad at pick up lines? That’s not necessarily something bad… We have all been bad at it. But look at the brighter side with these, alright?
Funny bad pick up lines
Jealous of your bestie? They can smoothly deliver every pickup line ever, but you can’t? Oh boi… you have talent too… a rare one, and we treasure it.
Here are the best ones for you…
- Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!
- Hi, how was heaven when you left it?
- Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.
- Are you a powerpuff girl? Because you’re made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.
- If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.
- Can you pinch me, because you’re so fine I must be dreaming.
- Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
- Are you a specimen? Because I have been studying you for quite a while.
- Can we Disney movies and chill?
- Are you related to Dracula? Because you sure looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.
- (Hold out your hand) Hey, I’m going for a walk. Would you mind holding this for me?
- I was just trying to buy a drink here, but you’re very distracting.
- You: Are you good at math? Them: No (or Yes) You: Me neither (or Me too). But the only number I care about is yours.
- You must be jelly, cause the jam don’t shake like that.
- I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
- You must be a high test score. Because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.
- If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
- You can’t spell virus without U and I
- Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.
- Even during the corona pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.
Here’s a weird way to stand out from the crowd… crack a gross pickup line. After all, if you hit the jackpot, someone might gag, in a good way. So, let’s check some…
Gross funny pick up lines
Think you’re gross? If not, this isn’t for you. If you are, how gross are you? Can you pique someone’s interest with your grossness? Curious how to do that? Well, I got exactly what you need…
- I lost my keys… can I check your pants?
- I feel so comfortable around you I don’t even have to hold my farts in anymore.
- Have you been covered in bees recently? I just assumed, because you look sweeter than honey.
- What if I told you I have **whispers** “60 rolls of ultra-soft toilet paper”
- Girl, are you down with the sickness? Because oh WAH AH AH AH
- Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t 😉
- May I stick a banana in your tailpipe?
- Why don’t you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
- You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
- Do you mind if I push in your stool?
- Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore- my face should be among them.
- Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!
- Do you work at Subway? ‘Cause you just gave me a foot-long.
- I hear you’re looking for a stud. Well, I’ve got the STD and all I need is you.
- Are those space pants? Because your ass is outta control!
- I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?
- Baby, you’re the next contestant in the game of love
- Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.
- I have 4 percent battery remaining. I chose to message you. Did I make the right choice?
- Do you like pancakes? Well how about IHOP on that ass?
Valentines is around the corner, want to ask out your crush? Of course, you also wanna get more lucky. Use these to hit them up…
Funny valentine pick up lines
This valentine, don’t just be a gentleman/lady, be one with a good humor bone. Sway your crush off their feet more than just flowers, chocolates, teddies, or diamonds.
Because diamonds might get stolen… but nobody can steal their laughter. Use these to pump up their heart…
- Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
- You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
- Are you a volcano? Coz I lava you!
- How long do I have? (Huh? Until what?) Until you have to be back in heaven.
- Thank god I have life insurance. Because you make my heart race too fast.
- Wanna share your side of the bed tonight?
- If I were an octopus, all my hearts would belong to you.
- Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack.
- Let’s save water by taking a shower together.
- Hug me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the earth flat?
- There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look
- Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
- Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.
- Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
- Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.
- Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
- I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
- My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and save me?
- Heaven might charge me for stealing an angel since you’re here with me.
- How many times should I walk by you before I catch your attention?
Did you get their contact? Don’t know what to text? You can use some pick up lines to break the ice on text. Let’s see how they work…
Funny text pick up lines
Think a pick up line over text won’t be impactful? Let me pop that bubble… because you can use them via text too. And guess what? It’ll keep them waiting for more. Wanna play hard to get? These will work…
- If you’re as good at cuddling as you’re good looking, I’m signing myself up on the waitlist for a date.
- Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?
- Two truths and a lie! Go!
- A three-day weekend is coming up. Are you a) heading for the mountains b) going to the beach c) sleeping till noon d) partying all night?
- What’s a perfect gentleman like myself doing without your phone number?
- I’d say you’re the bomb, but that could turn into lethal conversation…
- Do you like vegetables because I love you from my head tomatoes?
- Are you Israeli? Cause you Israeli hot.
- Did you hear of the new disease called beautiful, I think you’re infected.
- Has anyone ever told you how beautiful my eyes are?
- I’m going to make you my boyfriend for the next five minutes. Let’s see how you like it.
- Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m lovin’ it!
- Do I have to sign for your package?
- I just want you to know that you’re the second sexiest person in this building.
- What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.
- Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them.
- Are you a pumpkin spice latte? Because I’d love to slurp you up.
- I didn’t know what I wanted in a woman until I saw you.
- No wonder the sky is gray (or dark, if at night)—all the color is in your eyes.
- You know, your smile has been lighting up the room all night and I just had to come and say hello.
Are you into online dating? Once you find a good tinder match, how do you proceed? Do you try the same Hi and hello? Time to change that with these…
Funny tinder pick up lines
Thinking “They’re online but I’ll not text first”? That might be your worst choice ever. While you hesitate over DMs, the girl on tinder might find someone else. After all, time waits for nobody. So, use these to get back to work…
- I woke up thinking today was just another boring Monday, and then I saw your photo on my app.
- Hey gorgeous, will you be my Tinderella?
- We matched! Does that mean you’re coming over to my place tonight, or should we meet and establish we aren’t serial killers or living with our parents first?
- I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
- Pick a historical era, and I’ll try to come up with a pick up line related to that era.
- You’re too gorgeous for any of the pickup lines I know.
- On a lazy Sunday: Netflix all day, getting lost in a museum, or cuddling with me?
- Are you a banana because I find you peeling.
- Do you like science because I’ve got my ion you.
- I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
- Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.
- Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!
- I wish you were here to play ‘Simon Says’ with me… in bed.
- Did you know I am good with numbers? Give me yours so I can prove it to you.
- Hey. I’m Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me.
- Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.
- I went to Alabama for college. Want to Roll Tide Roll with me?
- Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’.
- Did you just strike a match? I swear as soon as you walked in, it got lit.
- Congratulations. You matched with the nerdiest (or any other self-deprecating adjective) guy on Tinder. To celebrate you’re awarded a drink at your bar of choice
Too many options for you? Can’t understand which one works for you? That’s normal… after all, there are just too many to even use.
So, let me squeeze down your choices quickly.
5 Tips to select funny pick up lines
Are you trying to impress your crush? Can’t figure out how to do it? Well, it’s impossible without starting a conversation.
Funny pick-up lines can do the job for you. But you need wit to select the right one. Also, learn to deliver it at the right moment.
How will a funny pick-up line help? Well, it may release the tension in the air, lift moods, and even make your crush or partner giggle. And don’t forget to flirt!
So are you ready to take the girl home because these tips are sure to put your boat ashore?
1. Complement and be funny at the same time
Pick-up lines are all about making your partner feel special, so they know you like them. So, if your pick-up line is funny, make sure you don’t end up roasting them.
Choose something that flaunts your sense of humor and flirting skills at the same time.
For instance, choose, Are you an electrician? Because you are definitely lightning up my day/night!
2. Pick general topics
Don’t sound too alien or use words your crush or partner never heard. It is okay to be cool or smart but do not let it spoil the show.
You really want to get the joke across, right? Else you’ll only find a confusing face. So be general.
3. Observe
Funny pick-up lines and all are fine. But what if you get slapped instead? Perhaps your crush had a bad day… they’ll definitely not be in the mood.
In such cases, pick up your line later, else they’ll pick up their sandals first. So, observe their behavior before googling a funny pickup line.
4. Be relatable
Follow the previous section… Take an idea of their likes. So, know your partner well before opening your mouth and observe their sense of humor.
What if they are not funny at all? So, select a pickup line based on what they like and can relate to well.
Did you just say your crush loves ice cream? Bro, grab that line!
5. Be unpredictable
Please do not be cheesy or crack lame jokes. People are smart enough to judge the reality now, and too cheesy lines can spoil the game.
Even if you want to be relatable… do not be that kid who just learned to joke. Be unpredictable and surprising.
So even if Google provides you with a bunch of funny pick-up lines, you know what you have to do.
A word from ThePleasantConversation
Think you’re ready to grab your pickup line? Know your partner’s taste? and is their mood fine? Cool… Hurry up and go racing to them.
Do that and they’ll completely ignore you. Sometimes, you gotta stay in your lane and call them over.
You’re a great person to research for the perfect opening. However, don’t let them know that.
Well, perhaps, if you stay together for about ten years… break the word to laugh at good old times.
Also, if your crush doesn’t respond to one, don’t use another pickup line. It might be a red signal. And if they refuse you, it’s okay… accept that they’re not your destiny.
