As natural as aging is, it can be difficult to come to terms with. Surprisingly, many people find it easier to become comfortable with the idea that they are aging, but accepting that their parents are? A whole other story.
After all, your parents have been your support system all these years, having your back and looking after you. Seeing them getting older brings apprehension and insecurity about their health and the future that awaits them. As many chronic diseases get worse with age, these fears are hardly unfounded.
The best way to remain focused on the present and enjoy every moment is to prepare for the future. The four questions below will help you remain on top of preventive health needs for your parents or other aging family members.
Often, an early sign of health concerns is feeling less able to perform everyday tasks, such as cooking and cleaning.
We often put it down to a lack of time and energy after a hectic day at work. However, sometimes, chronically low strength or motivation to manage chores can signal an underlying health issue.
Suppose your parent says, “I don’t feel like cooking, so I am ordering takeout more often.”
As a family, this is an opportunity to make this a broader conversation. Do they not feel like cooking because they are too tired? Don’t have an appetite? Have been craving salty or sugary foods?
According to Cleveland Clinic, fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest can indicate thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies. Low iron can also cause fatigue and interfere with sleep.
Have You Observed Any Changes in Your Health or Mood?
Communication can be difficult at times, regardless of the connection you may have always had with your parents. As they get older, they deal with changing realities, from unexpected aches to niggling health issues that didn’t exist before. They also feel unsure whether discussing this with you will help or only cause you to worry.
This question can make difficult conversations a little easier. Talk about anything at all that might be on their mind. Have they noticed an unexplained rash? Do they get winded when taking the stairs? Have they been feeling low as the seasons change? The purpose isn’t to diagnose anything; it is only to understand if a further medical checkup is warranted.
During this conversation, it can also help to clarify that any “red flag” doesn’t mean an immediate trip to the ER.
Many senior adults benefit from a quick assessment or chat with a family nurse who understands how we change across the lifespan. Professionals in this field are adept at communication and consultation. Those who pursue an MSN family nurse practitioner online or campus-based course also understand how to emphasize safe, effective care to help seniors feel comfortable and reassured.
Bringing in an expert during health-focused discussions with aging parents can also help you organize care coordination for future needs. Cleveland State University explains that modern healthcare professionals in family practice prioritize interdepartmental communication and collaboration. This will help your parents receive a complete assessment and ongoing monitoring of their physical and mental health.
Are You Taking Your Prescribed Medications?
We all forget medication occasionally or mess up the schedule. But as we get older, not adhering to the prescribed routine can become a bigger problem. This is particularly relevant for those who have a chronic condition that needs monitoring and management, such as diabetes or hypertension.
For older adults, polypharmacy can become a concern, as they may have multiple ongoing treatment plans for different conditions. Being careless about their prescriptions and skipping or doubling up doses accidentally can have adverse side effects.
An AARP feature notes the medication errors we must be wary of, particularly for older adults and their caregivers.
“Their regimens are more complicated. The more medications you take, the easier it is to get mixed up.” – David Bates, M.D., Director, Center for Patient Safety Research and Practice, Brigham and Women’s Hospital.
Is There Anything You Feel I Must Know But Haven’t Shared It With Me Yet?
The future is unpredictable; we know it. But how often do we actively prepare for it? When something goes awry, we wish we had known more when there was still time.
This question, though difficult, can help you discuss vital health aspects with your parents that they may not think to share otherwise. Think of insurance policies they may have taken out and people they may want to contact in emergencies (even if they don’t usually stay in touch).
Here are some pointers to help you through the discussion.
What to Know
What You Should Keep Track Of
Emergency contact
Whom should you contact in an emergency, including their name and phone number
Medical documents
Where are the important medical records, insurance papers, and other healthcare documents?
Healthcare providers
Names and contact details of primary care providers and other healthcare professionals they see
Medications and allergies
A list of current prescription medications, OTC medicines, supplements, and known allergies
Advance-care planning
Do they have a living will, healthcare proxy, or other relevant documents?
Healthcare decisions
Is there someone they want to involve in important healthcare decisions if they cannot communicate directly?
FAQs
How can I talk to my parents about their health without making them uncomfortable?
Pick a relaxed setting and approach the conversation with curiosity, not criticism. Instead of telling your parents what they must do, ask open-ended questions. Respecting their independence can make difficult conversations more productive.
How often should you talk to aging parents about their health?
There isn’t a set schedule. However, regular, casual conversations can make health discussions easier. Check in periodically with family members to notice changes and address concerns before they become urgent.
When should I encourage my parents to see a healthcare professional?
Encourage your parents to seek professional advice when they develop a new, persistent, worsening, or concerning symptom. Is a health change beginning to affect their everyday activities? They should also seek emergency medical care immediately for acute symptoms that come on suddenly.
Talking Through Troubles
Health problems are unpleasant and worrying at any age, but they can be downright anxiety-inducing when your aging parents face them. Getting to know about ill health much too late can trigger a guilt trip and feelings of frustration that are hard to get over. It is best to have these discussions as a family, not all at once, but slowly over time.
Talking is a highly underrated approach to dealing with troubles. Try it.